Rebalancing our relationship with money

I have been exploring the path me and many others are trying to follow at the moment in The Bridge. I have also started exploring the idea of creating space for stillness, connection and creativity in The Camp Fire.

In the second story I am now wrestling with money and restoring it to its rightful place (and not as a weed which is what it feels like; something that has overrun and dominated our ecosystem) as I consider how to make this real but also to earn a living (what does that phrase even mean?!). I fell into the trap last year of wanting to remove money from my existence. It felt like wherever its presence was felt it was damaging my soul in one way or another.

You’ll notice this was MY struggle. When I brought up this rather abstract idea with no clear plan of action (apart from possibly selling the house to get rid of the mortgage) with my wife we had a conversation where the conclusion was:

It’s like you’ve been radicalised

I am trying to treat this with a light tone. This is all quite funny when I stand back and look at it although it is also very important to me.

The good news is that I am no longer adopting such an extreme position such as money is the root of all evil. My new go to mental reframing tool is about achieving balance and harmony.

So our relationship with money is out of balance. It is almost treated as the most important nutrient in life.

A useful analogy is with our approach to growing food (or any plant).

In the last several thousand years we have grown food on the basis of inputs and outputs. We position it to have sunlight, water it, provide it with nutrition and protect it from pests. We have ignored, misunderstood (deliberately or otherwise) the value of diversity and connection. The soil ecosystem and how the mycellium along with a complex, diverse biosphere supports life with complex, interrelationships is only beginning to be understood. We have increasingly become reliant on changing the inputs (e.g. fertiliser) and management so that we can produce food.

The alternate view which recognizes the value of this ecosystem is only starting to come to the fore in the Western world now with permaculture and forest gardening which work more in balance with nature rather than trying to dominate nature. This is not new knowledge and can be found in the way some indigenous groups operate where they recognize that we are part of nature.

In the same way as growing food has focused on control over a complex, diverse, and therefore, balanced ecosystem money has become more important than our human relationships.

I feel that I need money to be safe because many of the things that makes us feel safe (income to pay mortgage or rent for housing, insurance) have been monetised.

I also feel that I am being misled and everything that I value is being commodotised so that it can be monetised. In particular our connection to our own bodies, to each other and all of nature has been turned into a commodity.

Although this has much truth in it, taking the polar opposite view is not helpful and, in fact, unnatural. I accept that everything is part of nature which means that everything man has created, including money, is also part of nature. When I see money as a nutrient that feeds but has become too dominant then a rebalancing feels a lot easier and more wise. And a rebalancing in favour of connection; of relationships (between people, nature and allowing our own inner nature )and of complexity, diversity and, therefore, beauty.

Money has a place alongside connection but a harmonious balance must always be maintained.

What are the signs of dissonance or disharmony?

If I go back to the campfire, there are a few lessons and simple facts that have come up to help guide me.

I need income to help me survive in this world. It is important that I am open and honest about this. But without setting any expectations or transferring responsibility to anyone else.

The camp fire is about connections, offering and receiving of gifts generously and feeling safe. If money is involved here it should act in support of this.

Some people will feel more comfortable paying for their participation. This may speak to respecting my need for income and my time and expertise.

Some people will feel that participation and sharing their gifts is their contribution.

Talking about money can make people feel awkward (it does for me). A simple, quick discussion with some clear options which doesn’t require any soul searching is probably the fairest thing to do.

What other warning signs do I need to look out for?

As I see how money has dominated I see some patterns of behaviour such as the story that the only people who made money out of the gold rush were those selling picks and shovels. Whether this is true or not it is a helpful shorthand and something I have seen personally in the digital marketing industry.

I have also seen this in the Agile movement where the original purpose of building software more effectively in a way that allows us to be more human has been co-opted in some ways so that the purpose has been to make money.

As with all aspects of life it is neither a money making industry focussed exclusively on the bottom line nor is it an endeavour that intends to free workers from the control of the ‘machine’ and give them complete freedom to be creative and discover their true nature. It is somewhere imbetween but will always ned to achieve balance.

So how can I tell if my approach is dissonant and needs rebalancing to come back into harmony?

One of the signs is when accreditation is used for the wrong purpose. Accreditation should be used to demonstrate people are ‘competent and safe to practice’. This is a worthwhile goal but it can become too attractive as the financial benefits from an industry based on accreditation materialise and distort the purpose. The SAFE methodology is often tarred with this brush.

I will keep asking myself the question:

how do I ensure that I and others are competent and safe to practice?

What are the signs that there is a harmonious balance?

I think this is articulated best in Robin Wall Kimmerer’s essay on The Serviceberry An Economy of Abundance (thanks to Hannah for sharing this).

Here are some quotes that I will use to guide me:

being valued for your own unique gifts

Intentional communities of mutual self-reliance and reciprocity are the wave of the future, and their currency is sharing

wealth and security come from the quality of your relationships

Each member has an abundance of something, which they offer to others

The gift is multiplied with every giving, until it returns so rich and sweet that it burbles forth as the birdsong

As an example of this, I support Edible London (a local Community Interest Company who aim to solve food poverty) with coaching on organisation and individual growth. There is a partner organisation that addresses the food surplus problem through a veg box scheme called Streetbox. The quotes above resonate very strongly when I think of the people I have met through this relationship. And, on a practical note, here is the veg box that I receive pro bono in return for my coaching: